Donate

 

 
ForumForumDiscussionsDiscussionsLooking for peo...Looking for peo...relationshipsrelationships
Previous Previous
 
Next Next
New Post
 17/05/2012 20:24
 

Iam a single person who has met various amounts of men which have unfortunateley been sceptic to narcolepsy! I am now at a point where I think will I ever manage a relationship?! I have been classed as lazy or a hypochondriac by men, have also falen asleep during sex! I just want to know how other people with this condition manage?

New Post
 20/05/2012 14:06
 

My last relationship had quite a few troubles due to my narcolepsy. My (now ex) girlfriend would repeatedly claim tolerance and understanding, but there were daily insinuations that I was just making things up/nothing really wrong with me. Certainly played a part in showing her the door.

I once had someone tell me I was just attention seeking by telling them during an early date, that one didn't last either. A friend of mine once joked that I should try and find myself a narcoleptic girlfriend, made me chuckle at the thought :)

I never used to consider my narcolepsy in relationships before recent events, but now I will admit it plays a part and I feel a little self conscious when getting to know someone, being unsure whether to tell or not.

New Post
 20/05/2012 23:37
 

Yep, you are all so polite on here, noone else has mentioned the problem of falling asleep during foreplay! Well, what do we expect, warm , cosy, relaxed, in bed, are we going to stay awake? But seriously, most men are really not flattered by this. It is something you can cope with in a long term relationship maybe. But maybe a new man/woman is enough to keep one awake? Can't remember, far too long ago for me.

Day to day life is problematic when youhave to fit in sleeps or just don't do certain things, which a partner might hope to do. Sorry, I am not being very positive. All you need is someone tolerant , who is happy with a relationship where you are not joined at the hip, so ,for example, you can't go to a concert because you fall asleep but don't mind if he goes with a friend. That is the only way I can see it working so the partner does not feel resticted and you don't feel guilty about that.

And anyway, you had lucky escapes from the idiots who called you lazy etc. Otherwise it might have taken you longer to find out this unpleasant side to them . Don't let the narcolepsy define you, you will have other things to offer in a relationship, just like anyone else.. Good luck.

New Post
 28/05/2012 16:17
 

I was in the throes of narcolepsy, but not even begun to be diagnosed, when my first long-term relationship ended. I don't know if it was a factor.

I have been in a relationship for coming up on 8 years now (for reference, I'm male, my partner is female - that may be relevant). She knew about my narcolepsy to begin with, and as we got closer I explained more of the effects.

My sleep attacks are much more frequent if I'm physically passive, and less frequent when I'm physically active, so not much issue with sex ;) - I don't get too much cataplexy, though I've collapsed with full-body cataplexy when angry, which ended the argument quite effectively. Most of the time it's localised.

The bigger issue has been automatic behaviour, hypnogoggic hallucinations, and microsleeps. My hypnogoggic hallucinations are frustratingly mundane, so I remember things that are plausible but never happened, or don't remember things that did. My other half gets frustrated by this, but we've learned to live with it together.

Scepticism might be part of the recent media climate around health and disability generally. I don't know what to say about that.

Hope you have more luck in future. A supportive partner can make all the difference living with a long-term health problem.

New Post
 31/05/2012 14:57
 

" My hypnogoggic hallucinations are frustratingly mundane, so I remember things that are plausible but never happened, or don't remember things that did. My other half gets frustrated by this, but we've learned to live with it together."

I'd almost forgotten about this aspect. It was crazy the number of fights my ex and I used to have either through a conversation I was sure we had, or that we did actually have but she'd choose to have it as I was waking up/hallucinating and therefore simply didn't register in memory.

Previous Previous
 
Next Next
ForumForumDiscussionsDiscussionsLooking for peo...Looking for peo...relationshipsrelationships

Forum terms & conditions: please read before using the forum
Minimize
The views on the online community do not represent those of Narcolepsy UK. To provide the best possible service, we keep an active interest in the topics being discussed, while making sure that the forum remains strictly for your discussions.

Your Content must:

  • be accurate where it states facts
  • be genuinely held where it states opinions
  • comply with applicable law in any country in which they are posted.

Your Content must not:

  • contain any material which is defamatory of any other person or organisation
  • contain any material which is obscene, racist, sexist or offensive in any way
  • engage in bullying on the site
  • infringe any copyright, database right or trade mark of any other person
  • be likely to deceive
  • be made in breach of any legal duty owed to a third party such as a contractual duty or a duty of confidence
  • be used as an advertisement or to promote a survey
  • be likely to disrupt our service in any way
  • give the impression that they emanate from us where this is not the case
  • advocate, promote or assist any unlawful act such as (by way of example only) copyright infringement or computer misuse.
     
Common sense & disclosure of personal information

Please use caution and common sense when using the Site. Keep your password secure and contact us if you think it might be used by someone else. We cannot guarantee in any way that other registered users of the forum are who they say they are, are always honest and acting in good faith. Any registered users who we feel might be abusing the spirit of the forum and who fail to comply with the terms and conditions above could have the privilege of using the site removed from them.

Content on this site is monitored on a daily basis. If you read a post that you find breaks any of the above regulations, press the report post button and that post will be flagged up to a moderator. We reserve the right to reject, block, suspend or remove content at any time and at our sole discretion. We in no way guarantee that your content will be displayed on the Site.

Always exercise caution on the site. Do not disclose your full name or have your user name as your full name. Do not give details of your phone numbers, email address, home address or of your workplace to any person.
 

Indemnity

You agree to compensate the charity and our respective directors, officers, employees, and applicable third parties in full from and against all third party claims, liabilities, losses and expenses (including reasonable legal fees) suffered by such persons arising out of, or related to or which may arise from Your Content and/or any breach by you of any term of this Agreement.



 

Privacy Statement   |  Terms Of Use
Copyright 2010 Narcolepsy UK (Charity Registration No: 1144342 Scottish Charity No SC043576)